you know i don't usually write post's with any real personal information ever, mainly because i don't believe anyone has the right to know these things and i don't trust fb at all its a corporation not a person, it has no shame or morals or ethics code to guide it or real code of conduct and cannot be trusted ever, even my relationships in the past i wouldn't put it on fb as people just don't need to know, and it's not about hiding or lying to anyone it never has been, it's simply because it's not anyone else's business, and i know your all excited and happy about Christmas coming and your all giddy and full of family festive cheer, and so you should be, its quite right to be so, but i would like to take this opportunity to remind you that there are other people out there, who are not as fortunate and i would like to ask you to give a thought or two for them this Christmas season and to remind you to cherish every moment with your family's I'm going to tell you something about me and my life, and when you've heard it, you may just look at yours and realise just how very lucky you are to have each other, all of you, you see not everyone has someone in their lives some not by choice either, there are O.A.P's and disabled people and other peoples that don't or can;t get out, and children in hospitals and other people stuck on wards with no families, and people in care homes or even homeless people that have no one and no where to go, and i don't want to intentionally put you on a downer as that's not what this is about, its about me reminding you that remembering our humanity and showing compassion and care and consideration for others, should always be placed highly on your moral to do list, instead of us just wasting our time and energy on pointless things, when there are other things you could be better spending your energy on, besides fb is utterly pointless and means nothing, it's "real" world interactions that count or at least they're meant to, its been that long since anyone really tried to to communicate with me face to face, I've almost forgotten what it's like, i haven't had a human conversation for ages, (months and even then it was only briefly and painful at that), some days it feel's like i could be the last person on the planet, and other day's, i wish i was, it would make my life so much easier, i wouldn't have any real problems with it except finding somewhere comfy, (like now) except given I'd have the pick of the planet to choose from, and have anything i wanted or could possibly need, i think i could handle it pretty well, the only thing i would miss would be writing these stupid posts for you to read, it would be a bit pointless knowing that no one would ever read it again, apart from me, and i already know everything i would want to say and that just makes it even more pointless, its strange even from a young age all i ever wanted was to be accepted like anyone else, have a family, a home and a career, a future and i did i made it with my own hands, i struggled and clawed and scrambled up and climbed up further and went far and wide, so i climbed and managed to make it higher than most, and i did really well considering everything that preceded it, but just when i thought my life could be just about perfect, i had a fiance, a home a good career done a fair bit of travelling, I'd worked long and hard at building my dream job and felt almost complete, and i even had friends not many but just enough, imagine that me actual friend's in the corporeal sense, you know the only moment of real happiness I've ever had in my whole miserable pain filled existence, was holding my little girl in my arm's and looking down at her, she was perfect her big blue eyes, blond hair, her little smiley face looking back at me, and then just like that it was all gone, taken from me in an instant, just gone and my world was destroyed, like everything in my life that makes me happy, and it always happen's because of other peoples actions, every single time, my simple hopes and dreams of a real home and a family that loved me, my everything, my whole world, poof in an instant just like that gone because of someone else, my own family was all i ever wanted from a child, having not had one of my own, i thought it was something that could never be taken from me, I'd been living by myself since i was 15 and used as a punch bag before that, so i always wanted my own real fam, it seemed like something tangible, well apparently my dreams were too much to ask for, and i was wrong, i don't even think you could begin to understand the pain and trauma's I've been through, and some that I'm still going through, it's amazing how i write and write finding ever more impressive and cleverer things while trying to help you, but you don't see me, you look right through me and don't see the real me, the one in pain hiding behind a paper thin smile just barely holding back the tear's, you know without human interaction life is pointless, so embrace your family and be kind to others, reject the artificial digital replacements for our humanity even though it has given me nought but pain and suffering i wouldn't trade it away for anything, it's made me the strong person i am today, besides those digital abstract relationships aren't even a tangible thing, anyone can say anything online, it doesn't really mean anything not a dammed thing unless they act upon their words, besides a digital construct can't snuggle up to you at night, or make you laugh uncontrollably at inappropriate moments or make your fave munch when you've had a tough day, or bring you flowers just because i can, or hold you close when thing's get a little scary or give you the warmth of my body heat on a cold night or any of the myriad of perks that come with a relationship, i guess what I'm really trying to say is simply. Love Each Other, you never know just how long we have left, so make it count and show them you care, don't just say it, don't waste your time on empty word's, there is no re-run at life until the beginning of the cycle comes back around again, and even then unless your gifted you are likely to do everything exactly the same, so maybe try to be a little spontaneous here and there and break the fixed chains of time it could make all the difference, you know being that last man alive and the last conscious observer in the universe, when the time comes that you close your eyes for the final time, the universe is unmade and all this fuckery starts again, and even though its all been pretty grim i wouldn't change a thing :) #peace 🌍☮️☯️😁
